Your Top 5

Songs with clever lyricism

This week on Your top 5 I have NickS (WA) of Earnestness is Underrated joining me in mining some clever lyrics. Nick actually suggested this week’s theme and I absolutely had to take him up on this idea. This, again, is a very challenging exercise, so I look forward to seeing what every one else comes up with in the comments! But first:

Nick’s Top 5

I was excited when Christopher invited me to collaborate on a Top-5 list. The topic sounded fun. I tend to be attentive to lyrics in songs, and was excited to share some of my favorites. Then, the more I thought about it, the more intimidating it seemed. Given the enormous variety of clever, funny, witty, songs picking just 5 is inevitably a very small sample of what could be selected. But, that’s no reason to not have fun with it; but I recognize that it would be easy to pick a list that was just as good and had no overlap.

5: “The Elements” — Tom Lehrer

There's antimony, arsenic, aluminum, selenium
And hydrogen and oxygen, and nitrogen, and rhenium
And nickel, neodymium, neptunium, germanium
And iron, americium, ruthenium, uranium

The magic of the song is that it works as well as it does. How is it that you can find a charming video of a young star showing off (and fumbling a bit) by remembering it on a TV show, 51 years after Tom Lehrer originally recorded it.¹ My theory is that patter songs often have a tension between the speed and rhythm of the music and the meaning of the words — singing the names of the chemical elements is brilliant because it falls half-way between normal language and nonsense syllables. You know that the words are important and have meaning but, at the same time, there’s no sentence structure that needs to be preserved. This live performance is very impressive.

4: “Cows With Guns” — Dana Lyons

We will fight for bovine freedom
And hold our large heads high
We will run free with the Buffalo, or die
Cows with guns

I wanted to include one pun-heavy song and this, from Dana Lyons is hilarious and takes it about as far as possible. There are too many puns to pick a favorite, so I’ve quoted from a chorus, of sorts, which breaks up the standard verse/refrain and is one of the funniest things in the song. There’s something brilliant about the line “hold our large heads high.

3: “England 2 Columbia 0” — Kirsty MacColl

If you hadn't passed out while I was talking to your friend
It could have really ended badly 'cause you very nearly had me
If he hadn't taken pity on my heart full of desire
I might never have found out you're a serial liar

I mentioned Kirsty MacColl in response to an earlier Top 5, and am happy to pick one of her songs here. Her first hit had the memorable put-down, “There's a guy works down the chip shop swears he's Elvis / But he's a liar and I'm not sure about you” This song takes that slightly farther, increasing the emotional stakes and the frustration with the lies. The song still leans towards funny, rather than anger, because of the frame which equates the heartbreak of dating with that of a losing football team (“Now it's England 2 Colombia 0 / And I know just how those Colombians feel”). It all starts with the opening fanfare which sounds like something you would hear at a match.

In addition to humor it creates a little bit of emotional distance — it lowers the emotional guards of the audience; it introduces itself as something silly and then has a serious core.

2: “I Wish” — Skee Lo

I wish i had a brand-new car
So far, i got this hatchback
And everywhere i go, yo i gets laughed at
And when i'm in my car i'm laid back
I got an 8-track and a spare tire in the backseat
But that's flat

My initial version of the list didn’t have any hip-hop songs. I’m sure somebody could (and should) provide a great list composed entirely of humorous hip-hop, but this is one of my favorites. I didn’t hear it when it originally came out (and was a hit). I was introduced to it about 10 years ago and I am never going to be able to get it out of my head. That chorus is perfect, “I wish I was a little bit taller, I wish I was a baller / I wish I had a girl who looked good, I would call her / I wish I had a rabbit in a hat with a bat / And a six-four Impala”

1: “Up The Junction” — Squeeze

I never thought it would happen
With me and the girl from Clapham
Out on the windy common
That night I ain't forgotten
When she dealt out the rations
With some or other passions
I said "you are a lady"
"Perhaps" she said. "I may be"

The first song that I thought of, my number 1 selection, and an opportunity to provide a thesis statement, of sorts, about what connects these choices.

I sometimes quote the opening lines of “Beautiful Despair” by Rodney Crowell — “Beautiful despair is hearing Dylan when you're drunk at 3 a.m / Knowing that the chances are no matter what you'll never write like him” The great thing about “Up The Junction” is that it doesn’t prompt despair, even if most people will never write like that.

It is packed so full of lyrical inventiveness and creativity but, rather than feeling daunting it makes the world seem full of possibility. At some point in my early 20s I was making a deliberate effort to listen to a bunch of (slightly) older music that were considered classics. In doing so, some artists feel like they loom large as part of the musical landscape. Johnny Cash or Leonard Cohen feels like a mountain range in popular culture. But listening to Squeeze makes me think that the world should be fully of perfect pop songs. We should never run out of wonderful, charming, clever songs. But I’m not sure that anybody is better at that than Squeeze as their best.

One of the remarkable things about the song is the range of different emotions it touches. The line from the song which has most often popped into my head is, “The devil came and took me / From bar to street to bookie” which is an incredibly catchy way to describe the collapse of someone’s life. But the second line I remember often is the genuinely touching, “She gave birth to a daughter / Within a year a walker / She looked just like her mother / If there could be another.” The way the music holds on “another” is gorgeous.

For all of the songs I’ve chosen I think the wit emphasizes the pleasure of human creativity. They all reflect finding delight in the process of writing.

There is a nice profile discussing the origin of “Up The Junction”. Both Glenn Tilbrook and Chris Difford feel quite proud of it — appropriately so. Difford says

Up the Junction took as long to write as it takes to read it. My mum and dad used to watch The Wednesday Play on BBC1, and I got drawn into those half-hour, kitchen-sink dramas. One was called Up the Junction, an adaptation of Nell Dunn’s book by Ken Loach. I pinched the title, but the rest of story is from my imagination, though there was a Railway Arms pub in Blackheath, where I was living. I never “got a job with Stanley, who said I’d come in handy”, but I loved those Ian Dury-type rhyming couplets. The line “I’d beg for some forgiveness, but begging’s not my business” still makes me chuckle. It sums up male stubbornness.

Our manager said he’d eat his hat if Up the Junction was a hit – and then it reached No 2 in 1979. It’s still one of my favourites.

Ah, youth . . . What does it take to write a song like that, apparently brilliance and being in the right mood at the right time.

My Top 5

This prompt was very hard because at first I was like, “okay well what Dylan songs should I pick?” Then I got to thinking that maybe I shouldn’t pigeonhole this whole category to just Bob Dylan, the greatest songwriter of all time. So, since I believe Dylan is in a whole ‘nother category of lyricism, I am going to leave him out of this top 5 list. In no particular order:

Sturgill Simpson—You Can Have The Crown

I am gonna start this off with a real backwoods bar country tune. Sturgill is noted for his excellent songwriting, and this track from his first full length release (that was not Sunday Valley) definitely has some of the best verses that will have you laughing for days. Including the last part of the chorus.

Well, they call me King Turd up here on Shit Mountain
If you want it you can have the crown

Seriously, how hilarious is that entire sentence? Then, there is my favorite verse:

Well, the name of the game is hurry up and wait
But that ain't putting no food on my plate
Or gas in my car and I drive a Bronco

So Lord, if I could just get me a record deal
I might not have to worry about my next meal
But I'll still be trying to figure out what the hell rhymes with Bronco

Now, you may be thinking that there is no way to improve that verse, pretty clever, pretty funny, right? oh, but Sturgill not only improved it, but he finally found a word that rhymes with Bronco AND at the same time made a reference to Blazing Saddles. This time on Cuttin’ Grass Vol. 2:

Well, the name of the game is hurry up and wait
But that ain't putting no food on my plate
Or gas in my car, and I drive a Bronco
And oh, Lord, I finally got out of my record deal
And now these bluegrass tunes is buying all my meals
And we're all just pawns in the game of life like Mongo

We don’t deserve Sturgill Simpson.

Frank Zappa—Joe’s Garage

This song is part of an entire rock opera by the same name. Like with anything Zappa, it’s a little weird, but features some excellent writing and musicianship. Speaking of which, a music theory joke in the song! Very Frank Zappa.

Hey!
Down in Joe's Garage
We didn't have no dope or LSD
But a coupla quartsa beer
Would fix it so the intonation
Would not offend yer ear

The song itself takes the listener through the life of a band that was playing the same song over and over with a little bit of a different style. If you haven’t listened to the whole three-part album, you would think Joe’s Garage is simply a song or story about a guy in a band, but boy does it really go down some weird roads after this particular track.

Desaparecidos—Hole In One

A straight political song about mass consumerism and the unique American need for that big suburban home.

You took your family to join in the urban sprawl
You can't see the stars as well but you're near the mall
Don't know where you stand no more, in line at the convenient store
That's way too long

Only, it had an adverse effect on your family including your teenage daughter. Even though I am a golfer, I still think this verse is extremely clever given the subject matter of the song.

Adolescence made her an activist
Now she's the one who does all the lecturing
"Oh they got their eighteen holes
Should tell them to dig one more
The dream is dead"

This whole first album by The Desaparecidos is a fantastic dive into the mass consumerism and attitude of early 2000s America. Give the whole thing a listen.

Father John Misty—Pure Comedy

While this song’s lyrics are a humorous take on the human condition and religion, its actually pretty heavy stuff.

Comedy, now that's what I call pure comedy
Just wait until the part where they start to believe
They're at the center of everything
And some all-powerful being
Endowed this horror show with meaning

Despite how old this song is, the lyrics are still pretty prescient as well. Especially if you consider current current events if ya know what I mean.

Oh, their religions are the best
They worship themselves yet they're totally obsessed
With risen zombies, celestial virgins, magic tricks
These unbelievable outfits
And they get terribly upset
When you question their sacred texts
Written by woman-hating epileptics…

….They build fortunes poisoning their offspring
And hand out prizes when someone patents a cure
Where did they find these goons they elected to rule them?
What makes these clowns they idolize so remarkable?
These mammals are hell-bent on fashioning new gods
So they can go on being godless animals

In fact, the whole album really explores our culture with a fine toothed comb, criticizing what we have become as a society. Check out “Ballad of a Dying Man” right after this song.

Finally, the last verse includes some of the most important and clever lyrics I have ever heard pertaining to organized religion and the inherent hypocrisies contained therein.

Oh comedy, their illusions they have no choice but to believe
Their horizons that just forever recede
And how's this for irony:
Their idea of being free is a prison of beliefs
That they never ever have to leave
Oh comedy, oh it's like something that a madman would conceive!
The only thing that seems to make them feel alive
Is the struggle to survive
But the only thing that they request
Is something to numb the pain with
Until there's nothing human left

Charlie Rich—Rollin’ With The Flow

I figured that not every song on this list has to be so serious, hence the inclusion of this second country track. Sung from the perspective of a young guy in his 30s still living that bachelor life, hard partying, childless, etc. He has a lot of friends that will forgive him for his sins of perpetual youth.

While guys my age are raising kids
I'm raisin' hell just like I did
I've got a lot of crazy friends
And they forgive me of my sins

Make no mistake, our hero also is a virtuous man, and believes that Jesus will also forgive him in the same way that his friends will.

Some might be callin' me a bum
But I'm still out there havin' fun
And Jesus loves me, yes, I know
So, I keep on rollin' with the flow (keep on rollin' with the flow)

This song is actually just a 3-minute life philosophy—and one that a lot of people subscribe to in one way or another, and that’s okay because…

Can't take it with you when you're gone
But I want enough to get there on
And I ain't ever growin' old
So, I keep on rollin' with the flow (keep on rollin' with the flow)

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Another week, another top 5, what are some of your favorite clever lyrics? Let us know in the comments!

1. Daniel Radcliffe clearly enjoys music with complicated lyrics. There’s a different video of him performing “Alphabet Aerobics”